Watching Kirk Gibson Hit the Game Winning Home Run in the 1988 World Series

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The first thing I hear when I turn on the 

old motel room’s boxy television 

sounds like an ocean’s roar: the huge crowd at 

a World Series game on their feet, cheering. 

Bottom of the ninth. The Dodgers trail the 

Athletics 4 to 3. Two outs. Dodgers 

have a man on first. The excitement is 

for Kirk Gibson, their star, who’s coming from

the dugout to pinch hit. The announcer 

says no one thought Gibson could play because 

of a severely strained hamstring in one 

leg and a bad knee in the other. He 

hobbles to the plate like a wounded duck.

Pitching for Oakland, Dennis Eckersley. 

Tall, slender, like some snake, he undulates,

and uncoils to throw two strikes past Gibson, 

whose every movement appears to hurt. 

Then Gibson somehow hits a couple of 

foul balls, sandwiched between Eckersley’s three

balls outside the strike zone. Count is three and 

two. Next pitch. Gibson reaches over the

plate and casually swipes at the ball. 

It soars over the right field fence. Gibson 

limps around the bases, pumping his fist 

to the deafening roar of the crowd while

announcers hail his gritty performance.

~

I hear my daughter’s quiet voice behind

me. I thought she was asleep. I turn to 

see her lying on the bed: her sunken 

eyes, scarlet bandanna, matching socks. Face 

white with pain. Thin fingers clench. Voice soft yet

determined as she talks to my wife: “I

 know this cancer might—probably will—kill 

me, but hopefully not for years. I need 

to make the most of the time I’ve got left.”

~

I look back at the TV as tiny

men jump up and down like sand fleas, patting 

one another on the back. Talking heads 

babble about courage. The crowd roars. I 

am drowning in a tsunami of rage. 

~ ~

Querencia

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…from the Spanish verb “querer,” to want, desire, love; an emotional inclination toward a location; a home ground, a favorite place.—Wikipedia.

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“A querencia is a place the bull naturally wants to go to in the ring… In this place he feels that he has his back against the wall and in his querencia he is inestimably more dangerous and almost impossible to kill.” Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon.

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Or man-cave or refuge or sanctuary or study or simply the room at the end of the hall where I hang out wrapping it around me like a favorite bathrobe or suit of armor depending…

where I 

gaze at pictures of my wife ML looking radiant in her new clerical collar despite her son’s having left to live on the West Coast… my daughter Laurie’s watercolor she painted before her cancer diagnosis of a blue hand reaching up thru brown rocks toward bright flower petals … my brother sister & me skunk as a drunk before I sobered up … ML’s boys, Laurie & me swimming on Mount Desert Island when I thought we could blend our families… grandchildren sitting in my lap, playing by the river, hiking in the woods when we did…a panorama of Banjo Camp North where I named my banjo Joy… Jerry, Marty, & I—6’2” then— the Fish Factory Trio, singing “The Old Dope Pedler” at a high school variety show in 1961… four views of the Desert House of Prayer outside Tucson, Arizona where ML & I danced in the desert under a full moon Easter morning in 2001… a lioness sunning herself on a rock on the Serengeti Plains in 2018…

keep mementos such as a contestant pin from the 1961 L&M State Basketball Championship…three vintage baseball caps of my favorite teams… the skin of a rattlesnake I killed in Idaho in 1962…diaries going back to 1963…autographed books by heroes, mentors, friends and former students … cards from grandchildren… three bowls of rocks from my travels…rocks from those travels too big for bowls… a felt fedora covered in pins from airports around the world… a turkey feather from a walk in the woods… four clam shells from walks on the beach… a letter holder my father made for my mother when they were in high school… a wooden platter I remember him carving in the evenings after he’d come out of the Army & was working as an apprentice carpenter & we didn’t have a TV… my grandmother’s desk… 

lose and find myself in books of non-fiction, fiction, poetry…books about travel, Maine, writing, spirituality… five banjos…one guitar…one harmonica…one mouth-harp… one Vietnamese flute… ten songbooks… two file cabinets of old writing… two coffee cups of pens…my current diary… a yellow legal pad of paper… a computer … 

look out the window at a world of uncertainty for my country & my own life & those I love holding my favorite pen like Excalibur my diary like a shield enthroned in my ergonomic office chair feeling inestimably more dangerous & almost impossible to kill…

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