Of Candles

~

Gazing out the window at a candelabra of green buds,

for some reason known only to the God of my not Understanding,

I remember Liberace and his candelabra 

and his 1950’s TV show, the star flamboyant

in white tie and tails and wavy hair, 

which I guess wasn’t’ real, at least 

according to my grandmother’s movie magazines—

“Liberace’s Wigmaker tells All!”—which she devoured

along with pints of Sealtest ice cream

while she, herself a piano player 

who used to play for the silent movies, watched

Liberace play everything from Litz to ragtime

to her favorite song—“Nola,”

which we had played at Nanny’s funeral

and which the poor organist butchered,

while the candles in the church—candles I used to light

as a Congregationalist version of an altar boy—

flickered and danced and I think 

of a little old man at the nursing home 

where my grandmother spent her last years

who bounced in his chair when Nanny played 

“Nola” for the talent show, yelling,

“Tickle those ivories, Hatty!”

and I light the two candles

by my computer to write this all down

because candles do a really good job 

setting the stage, whether 

it’s for my attempt to write something, 

Or for the congregation to mourn,

or for Liberace to show off

his talent and his dimples, or for spring

leaves to burst forth while a choir

of gold finches sing backup for a cardinal 

whistling the first four notes of Nanny’s favorite song.

~

First Thoughts on Spring

We would rather be ruined than changed—W.H. Auden

**

The sun shines on budding branches;

snow has retreated into the shadows

exposing last year’s dead leaves.

A cacophony of cardinals, titmice, finches

sparrows, jays, and crows 

fill the chilly air.

I want to yell out the window,

SHUT UP! IT’S TOO EARLY!

*

I’m not ready for this.

I want to spend the day

by the fire with Jack Reacher,

sipping hot chocolate and petting the cat

while Jack beats up bad guys,

look every now and then

out the window,

agreeing with me and myself

that’s it’s too cold/snowy/icy

to go anywhere.

*

Hibernation may be dull,

but it’s a peaceful dull,

free from having to expend 

all that energy

walking in the woods,

planting a garden,

going to a beach,

having coffee with friends, 

celebrating birthdays with family …

*

But those damn birds keep chittering,

like an orchestra tuning up before the symphony begins.

***